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Oh, huh. This still exists.

You sure can draw and animate, I'll give you that. Humor's a bit hit and miss, but Ruto's appearance was probably the highlight in that regard. Also nice just to see another entry to this after so long.


The real challenge with typography animations seems to be in finding a really specific aesthetic to play towards. There are some examples on Youtube that have floored me with their execution and flow. I can't honestly say that this is on par with those -- the voice track is the real starring element here -- but the animation does complement it nicely and what's there is well done.


This actually works, too.

Recent Game Reviews

14 Game Reviews

Suffers from the dreaded "Sequel Syndrome".

Well, here it is at last, and the NG audience are creaming their pants over it left right and center. Not that I'd expect anything different. I, however, perhaps being a tad anal retentive, didn't enjoy it quite as much as the first.

I'm not going to say you didn't put enough effort into it. Hell no. This gets an A triple plus for effort. The problem is that this effort seems to have been put into some of the wrong areas.

When I play a game like this, I play it for a bit of logical thinking, kicks and giggles, screwing with the various dialogue options, and (in the case of Johnny Rocketfingers) fast-paced ludicrously improbable action/fight sequences.

Problem the first: action sequences. The opening scene is fine, and all the fight scenes following are admittedly very well done -- but they just don't GRAB you like, for example, the bit with the chaingun-wielding giant in JRF1. Try to top or at least live up to the action/improbability in that scene and I'll be satisfied.

Problem the second: dialogue options. What went wrong here? In JRF1, the dialogue options near the start branched everywhere. Go to sleep, whack the woman and get yourself killed, demand a blowjob, try to talk your way out of being shotgunned by the barkeep. Great stuff. In JRF2, I've yet to see the dialogue yield any not-on-rails results. (I admittedly didn't explore all the options with the shady dude; if he can actually find me a hooker, sure, that'd be an improvement.) None of the options right at the start (that I could find) yield anything but an instant death. Talking to the oriental shopkeeper yields nothing at all but a somewhat humorous moment when Johnny pretends to come on to him, and if he points the shotgun at your head you either die or put the items back. Boring.

Problem the third: illogical puzzles. This is why I had a hard time liking Sam & Max for the gameplay; it very quickly becomes a jumble of pixel-hunting (without a walkthrough I never would have found the gum) and trying to combine every item you have with every other item to see if you get anything new. Sneaking the 40 out of the store was clever. Assaulting the alligator was kinda pushing it. Getting rid of the pigeon made absolutely no sense whatsoever (but it was pretty damn funny).

Fourth and finally, a general exchange of humor for even more bad-assedness. Looking back, there were plenty of humorous moments in the game, but only mildly so. The solution to the pigeon puzzle got a decent laugh, but that was probably the only thing that did. JRF1 had me absolutely cracking up the first time I saw the girl in the ending (despite the slight clichedness of the joke), and when Johnny just put his head down on the bar table and fell asleep.

In summary, I did like it anyway. It's just not really what I was hoping for. Here's to a JRF3... IN THE AMAZING YEAR FIVE HUNDRED BILLION!!

vastcool responds:

you are absolutely right & i totaly agree with you (except for the "illogical puzzles"). I tried to do more of a 'serious' cinematic movie with this one, & also wanted to make it more of a classic style adventure game. I made it way more complicated, which led to much more headache & a lot less humor, funniness, randomness, coolness.

If there is ever a Johnny 3 it will follow the same style as the first game. I just wanted to do this new style, but now it's out of my system.

Thanks for your honest review

PS you CAN kill a pigeon with alkeseltzer. i used to hear about kids doing it

Never have so few given so much for so many.

At first glance, I absolutely loved this. Very smooth, fluid graphics, an amusing intro, catchy (albeit eventually repetitive) music, and the bit of the tutorial where the instructions simply read "^_^" as the kid gets pounded made me laugh out loud. Combo system is pretty deep for a Flash game. All the kids dressed up as well-known NG members (among other people) was a nice touch too. Quite a lot of fun to play, but definitely has some issues.

1. Having no real point except stress relief is a nice way to assemble the game, but when about... 80% of the game is stress relief and the remaining 20% is frustration and pure agony, that just doesn't feel very balanced. Frankly the game should either have had nothing but kids who run away, or nothing but kids who fight back (and maybe a few who run away). Or maybe one mode for each (though I can't begin to imagine how much longer that would've taken). The combination does work, just not as well as it could.

2. Speaking of frustration... a couple bits in the game seem just downright unreasonable. If you don't happen to have a ball on hand when the ninja kid on the vehicle shows up, you're liable to get run over about 8 times or so before you finally manage to time your punch just right to blow the thing up. Also, even attempting to attack the ninja kids can be insanely frustrating due to how often they simply leap into the air and counter-attack with their homing jump-kick. Sometimes they seem more avoidable than others, which is weird.

And then there's Sunchips. Pardon my French, but that guy is really, really, REALLY fucking annoying. I've worked out the best attack pattern that seems possible, but even then I continually get my ass handed to me. Half the time my punches don't make contact (and they NEVER make contact unless I'm using the more powerful punch), and a quarter of the time I draw back my fist, only to have Sunchips with his inhuman reflexes knock my head in with an uppercut. If that were all that was involved, it wouldn't be so bad, but then when he shoots you with the gun while you're down... guys, what were you thinking?! It would be reasonably balanced if he shot you once. Maybe even twice. But the number of times he shoots before stopping and/or reloading is completely random. Once I died from a single slip-up, having been at full health, because he knocked me down and then shot me SIX TIMES in a row (or was it seven?) while I was unable to move. Not cool. Don't even get me started on his super-attack if he manages to land a hit on you at any point after having been made "angry". Having insanely hard bosses is all well and good, but this guy goes beyond insane. He's a freaking nightmare.

3. Minor bugs. Guy on vehicle grabbing hold of the basketball, whirling jump-punch somehow magically making contact with all enemies in a certain radius, causing ultimate cheap destruction (stayed for one game and then went away; and that was the only time I was actually able to beat Sunchips)... and the uppercut (A+S) doesn't seem to work, like, 92% of the time. Oh yes, and the music that plays for Sunchips' battle only plays once, and then stops. It never loops. Might want to look into that before releasing the standalone if you can be bothered.

Gripes aside, still quite entertaining, and it's earned my 5.

Hadn't noticed this was on here.

Always fun to fiddle with to see what kind of diseased creations you can make. :p

How come some camels have one hump, and others got two? You see, this is where gasoline comes from -- one hump for regular, two humps for premium and unleaded!

33, Male


Canada, eh!

Joined on 8/6/03

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